Breathe on plants. It'll save the world.

According to climate change expert and concerned citizen Kevin Rudd, the next big technique in the fight against "global warming" - that thing Al Gore made up to stay powerful; that world crisis that all Australians are so deeply concerned with unless there's something better going like saying "sorry" or rising interest rates - is to take atmospheric carbon and... wait for it... stick it in the ground!

According to the Carbon Coalition Against Global Warming, increasing the amount of stable carbon in soil can retain more water, reduce silting, increase crop production and remove carbon from the atmosphere. The idea behind this is that deep-rooted plants will suck carbon dioxide from the air to use in photosynthesis, and organic carbon will accumulate as humus. End result: carbon is trapped underground, the world chills out a little, and water is retained where it's needed.

Great idea. These people are gonna be fucking loaded.

I don't really care about climate change. The climate will change forever, because that's what the climate does. Excess carbon dioxide will sink into the increasing ocean, the greenhouse effect will be nulified by extreme rainfall, we'll cool down again in about 2,000 years or so, and then we'll go into an Ice Age, and the party in Government will be replaced by a new party that has its finger on the "global cooling" pulse. This happens, and we've not been around long enough to get used to it. Sit and watch; Nature will prove to be a far more resilient and effective balancer than mankind.

No, what we should be praising these people for is a unique way to get rich. The Carbon Coalition is, according to their own blog, "an alliance of farmers, scientists, extension officers and soils enthusiasts who believe the farmer should be rewarded for building carbon levels in the soil. " If I were a scientist, wondering from where my next grant was to come, I'd probably have my hand in the cookie jar as well. I'm sure that there are a lot of farmers who already cultivate deep rooted plants because of the water retention that goes so far to keep their livestock healthy (and more valuable.) Why not ask for a Government grant to do so? Indeed, this is an excellent example of taking a simple concept like fear, injecting a little hope, and watching the Teeming Masses dive headfirst into agreement like lemmings.

As you've probably gathered, I love shit like this, because it reminds me that no matter what else I do while I'm Waiting for the Big Sleep, I can always get rich off of stupid people in large groups.